Recognize your Privilege. Love your Neighbor as Yourself.

Heads up! This is a very long and very raw emotional blog post--I know most people won't read all of it... but if you can, I think you will learn something. 

I have been very very fortunate during my time in Tanzania to witness more happy times and success stories than hardships and sorrow. Through Neema and our social media posts, we really do our VERY best to focus on all the positive here in the community and to not post pictures or tell too many stories of destitution, pain and hardship—so often the picture painted in people's minds of rural villages in Africa is one of poverty and hopelessness or helplessness... this is incorrect. This is not true. And that isn’t the picture that I have ever wanted to paint or present of the community that I have been so lucky to call my family and my home for almost a decade. All of Uru isn’t the same and not every person who lives in Uru or is from Uru is extremely poor or suffering… however, Neema SPECIFICALLY looks to helps those who are suffering the most in the hopes that we can provide opportunities and services to alleviate some of the problems and provide the foundation for a better future. I like to share all the incredible happy times with all of you to try to erase some of the preconceived notions and stereotypes you may have of “Africa” or “Tanzania” or “Uru” ... in no way is the entire continent of Africa or the entire country of Tanzania or even the entire village of Uru the same… 

 

However, with all that being said, I do have a sad story to share this morning, but I wanted to say all that first so that you realize that this isn't an everyday occurrence here... and we do have more happy days than sad… I was sitting in the office working on mask orders when two people from my admin team came into my office to tell me that one of my older secondary students—lets call her Lisa here to protect her anonymity (who has been sick on and on again for years) is home sick again and is in VERY bad shape. 

 

****This story is tremendously sad but also shows you what incredible strength and resilience and grit this girl truly has.. and shows what life is like for many different people around the world who weren’t born into families who can provide for them or into a country that has amenities to offer… as bad as things in America can be (and I am not talking about in MY life… I am talking about the systematic issues and history in our country-- and the day to day oppression for members of different minorities groups) we are still SO SO SO lucky in the West to have the life we do… even in the worst situations, we are still so lucky. 

 

Lisa was born into true unimaginable destitution… she lived in a mud hut that she says growing up was literally constantly falling apart… no bed. She left on a pile of clothes on the floor. Domestic violence was very present-- her and her sister slept outside in the cornfield to avoid their drunk dad often… she has an incredible mother, but as the single mother of 6 children with no formal education, job or help (snow works for Neema, but when lisa was growing up, her mother was unemployed), they struggled so much.. Lisa failed out of school after primary school and after a few years on the street, she fortunately found Neema's Digitruck program. Lisa is now in her fourth year of secondary schooling at an accredited institution and is back on track to a bright future… however, despite all the great things that have come of her life since she went back to school, this sweet girl cant seem to catch a break in so many other ways. The biggest burden has been her physical health.  

 

We have spent hundreds of dollars on different doctors at different hospitals trying to find out what is causing Lisa all the respiratory and stomach problems that she has been having. 

 

A little background: In previous years on December 1^st, Neema International has hosted a World HIV/AIDS day awareness and celebration event—celebrating the lives of those living amongst us and remember those who have passed.. we provide free testing to all our students, their families and invite anyone from the community to come get tested and provide drinks and snacks to all—test results are confidential and counselors and social workers are present on site with the doctors to aid when there is a positive test result that needs to be disclosed to the patient. We haven’t been able to do the event the past three years due to new government testing rules… but in the three years we did host the event, we were so lucky to only ever have 1 blood test come back positive out of hundreds of negatives. This one positive test belonged to a young employee of mine—lets call her Suzy. Suzy was in her early twenties and her daughter was around 2 at the time. Suzy had only ever been with one man (the father of her daughter) who actually had an entire family and life that he lied to my employee about before getting her pregnant, ditching her while she was pregnant, and (while there is no way to know for certain, as he was the only person she says she had been with, it seems that he also infected her with HIV)… so really awful situation… As scared and saddened as Suzy was about testing positive, she was so relieved and at peace knowing that her daughter did not contract the disease. I promised Suzy that I would be by her side and do everything in my power to help her get everything she would need to continue living her life and to help her have a LONG life. I took her to meet with the best doctors I knew at the best hospital here in Moshi and for the first few months went with her to all her appointments to get her ARV medicine until she felt comfortable to do it on her own… While she is living with HIV, she is HEALTHY as can be and is doing wonderfully today. She has come a long way in the past couple of years, and I am thrilled to see how happy and successful she is these days. 

 

This morning, two individuals on my admin team told me that Lisa had come home sick from school AGAIN this past weekend. They all said they were VERY concerned with her current state and that she was beginning to develop ulcers in her mouth in addition to the respiratory problems. Lisa came into my office and looked very unwell. After we spoke at length, she agreed that given the poor conditions of her home and the life she has lived and the constant poor health, it was very important to go and run full blood tests and specifically test for HIV. As we spoke, her eyes filled with tears… here is this 20 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her… she is supposed to be in school, enjoying life, laughing and preparing for her future career and chasing her dreams… I of course wrapped my arms around her and told her that I would be here for her no matter what and that we will see this through and that I promise we will get answers and no matter what she will have a GOOD LIFE. But I knew that no matter what I said or how much I tried to empathize with her pain and fear, I couldn’t understand what she was feeling. I called Suzy in to the office… Lisa knew of Suzy’s status and Suzy knew that Lisa had not been doing well. I sat at my desk watching Suzy hug Lisa and tell her in Swahili… "Wewe ni family yangu. Wewe ni mdogo wangu, Unaniamini, sio? Nakuambia, kila kita kitakuwa sawa mae... usiogope. Tuko pamoja"... this means 'You're my family. You're my little sister. You trust me, don't you? I am telling you, everything will be okay. Don't be scared. We are here together."

 

Watching these two strong beautiful young women in this embrace gave me hope but also just broke my heart… Even on my WORST DAY, I have never come close to experiencing what they have experienced. and what so many people in my community have experienced... Im just in awe. From what they have gone through, what they are going through...what they have already overcome… and what they still must overcome… I can imagine it all just feels insurmountable and SO frightening. 

 

For those who know me, you know I don’t really believe in God. I am Jewish but don’t live my life by the Torah or really believe much of it… but I learned in school as a kid about Tikkun Olam (Hebrew for 'heal the world') and that the most important than we can do is to love our neighbors as ourselves… and this is how I have chosen to live my life. It is why I live in Tanzania. It is why I adopted. It is why I am a vegan. It is why I do EVERYTHING that I do. Love, compassion, and respect are my guiding principles and they have not failed me so far… and with all that is happening in the world right now, and watching Lisa and Suzy this morning, and now sitting here waiting to get a call from the doctor or Lisa with an update... 

Take a moment and just really think about your life and the lives of those around you. And please, PLEASE just TRY to treat others the way you want to be treated. Before you post something or make a rude comment on someone's post or photo or judge someone or ANYTHING that isn't kind and respectful, just ask yourself... how would I feel if it were me!! It literally applies to EVERYTHING!!!! 

Wear a damn mask for crying out loud. Help out a neighbor. Hold the door for a stranger. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes… Consider watching videos about the real history of America and Africa and colonization, about the meat industry and animals in entertainment, about human and animal slavery, about oppression in all its forms....and most importantly, EDUCATE YOURSELF ON SUFFERING AND LEARN ABOUT YOUR PRIVILEGE-- and ADMIT IT! I AM PRIVILEGED AND I BENEFIT FROM IT EVERYDAY. If you think you have no money, trust me someone has less. If you think your situation is the worst one out there, I promise someone’s is worse. Yes, there are problems in America. BIG HUGE GIANT PROBLEMS! But in so many places around the world, the suffering is exponentially worse on so many levels…The purpose of this post is not to belittle your situation or to trivialize your pain. It is just to show you a real life situation, something that someone is going through 8000 miles away and to remind US ALL of how much we have to be thankful for. If you are reading this, it means you have access to electricity, Internet, a computer/phone/tablet, and YOU CAN READ! That's more than so many people in this world have!!!

Use this post as a reminder of all the things you have to be thankful for in this world. And go out there and pay it forward. Make a change in your life to improve the life of someone else. Make a sacrifice-- use the money you would spend on a new top or on ice cream or on Starbucks and donate it! There is SO much you can do to help.... start today. 

And please, keep Lisa in your thoughts today-- the more of us rooting for her, the better. 

Love always, 

Mandy